Endless Numbered Days

“Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way...
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun...

Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over, thought I’d something more to say...”

- Pink Floyd, Time

I look back on forgotten time and wonder how to account for it all. Standing where I am now, at this moment, I have nothing to show. The pointlessness of my life suddenly looms large and it’s not a nice feeling.

So many squandered opportunities, so much lost time, so many mislaid priorities, so much water under the bridge. If I can only put the ‘could haves’ and ‘should haves’ behind me, then maybe I would still have a fighting chance to make it to someplace, if only in my mind. But inertia rules, and I remain, in misplaced complacency, in the place I am now. And wonder where the person I had set out to be, got lost, or left behind.

I listen to ‘Time’ and figure I’m not the first who’s been thinking these thoughts. And I know I’m not alone in my deliberation. There must be others who wake up to the same realization and maybe feel the same way I do. This unknown, invisible company of strangers brings a certain solace. It’s a good feeling. One that almost cancels out the bad...

Almost.