Bittersweet

You see the signs. They're everywhere, appearing again and again, urging you towards your destiny. They're there...giving you the answers you need, but they're not the answers you want. So you choose to disregard them and follow the dictates of your heart, knowing all the while that you've walked a similar path before...and that it hasn't ended in roses and rainbows. Quite the contrary. You've been left with ashes and smoke, and the acrid taste of salt in your mouth.

But you surge forward anyway, venturing one reckless step after the other, until you're running from all that is familiar and safe and limiting, and hurling yourself into the black abyss of the unknown.

Maybe this is why we chase shadows, slipping in and out of fractured dreams. Because the future isn't set in stone. And no matter how broken the road or how defeated the spirit, we know we can change the pattern of our stars, aligning them the way we want.

And in doing so, giving shape to our own fate.

Once Upon a Dream

Sometimes, our fondest dreams come true,

Simply because, the universe is listening...

________________________________

Here’s a ghazal I associate with a dream, and with destiny. 

Empty Spaces

I remember the day
You turned to me for comfort,
When time with me
Had been something you needed
And then looked forward to.

I don’t remember the day
The tables turned...
When you stopped needing me
And I started leaning,
Waiting, wishing, hoping.

Now you’re gone
And your place, taken over
By wistful longing
And a yearning for something
I had never needed in the first place.

it's Complicated!

A friend called this morning, simply wanting to know if it was worth all the pain, the ‘it’ implying love. This was the same someone who’d called three days earlier to tell me she was on top of the world, thanks to a certain someone. And then another friend tells me that she’s done being alone, that she’d give anything to meet her special someone now.

So what do I tell her? Do I give her the assurance she yearns for, and say that in time, things will be alright? Or do I tell her, rather heartlessly, that fairy tales and happily ever afters are quite simply that - make-believe stories. And do I tell the other, the same thing?

From the time we were little, we’ve heard and read fairy tales, with the same saccharine ending to them all, and nursed dreams of a prince charming sweeping us off our feet and carrying us off into the land of eternal happiness. And then one day, ‘life’ happens…and we grow up.

So what happens to those fairy tales and the happy endings we’ve always carried in our minds? The love we’ve secretly, desperately craved for in our hearts? Do they die a natural death or have their life beaten out of them? Or, is it hard to let go of that dream because there’s this tiny ray of hope that keeps it alive?

Maybe we really need to mark, learn and inwardly digest the fact that being alone doesn’t necessarily translate to being lonely, but at the same time realize that personal spaces, though closely guarded, need to be invaded every once in a while, for our own good.

Maybe at the end of the day, it’s simply enough to know that love turns up in the most unexpected places, and looking for it will only make the wait more cumbersome, and the heart more restless. That the fairy tale may not follow the same storyboard as in the classics, and that the knight in shining armour may need to be traded for an ordinary looking guy in ratty tees and scruffy jeans. And that the happily ever after ceases to be important in the light of happiness now, in this moment.

And whether love is worth the pain…maybe every story is a fairy tale in its own right, and whether it ends well, or doesn’t, is simply a matter of perspective.

The real question however, is this. When we have found the person we are seeking, how do we know for sure, before it’s too late? Maybe we don’t. Maybe we never will. And therein lies the tragedy of it all.

No Strings Attached

Choices...

We're making them every day. We choose our friends, the situations we want to be a part of, the things we want to do, and the places we want to go to. Some small choices, and some big ones...some easy to make, others difficult. But we believe that our choices are what make us who we are and take us where we want to eventually be. We make them with the unspoken belief that they will ultimately make us happy. Time rolls on and we realise that though we've hit the jackpot with some of the choices we've made, others couldn't have been worse! But ah, well...that's life. They were our choices anyways. And we're responsible for them.

And then, there's Destiny.

So how d'you explain that?

I've grown up with the faith that God has plans for each of us. That He has scripted our lives, and everything that happens in it, was meant to happen precisely that way. There are no coincidences. Everything that takes place, no matter how insignificant, is how the universe has willed it. And yes, everything happens for a reason...blah blah.

So I ask...where's my choice in all this? Did I even have one? ever? And free will...does it exist? Or does destiny/ fate/ chance/ divine intervention - whatever you call it - rule?

Are we all, simply being played?