it's Complicated!

A friend called this morning, simply wanting to know if it was worth all the pain, the ‘it’ implying love. This was the same someone who’d called three days earlier to tell me she was on top of the world, thanks to a certain someone. And then another friend tells me that she’s done being alone, that she’d give anything to meet her special someone now.

So what do I tell her? Do I give her the assurance she yearns for, and say that in time, things will be alright? Or do I tell her, rather heartlessly, that fairy tales and happily ever afters are quite simply that - make-believe stories. And do I tell the other, the same thing?

From the time we were little, we’ve heard and read fairy tales, with the same saccharine ending to them all, and nursed dreams of a prince charming sweeping us off our feet and carrying us off into the land of eternal happiness. And then one day, ‘life’ happens…and we grow up.

So what happens to those fairy tales and the happy endings we’ve always carried in our minds? The love we’ve secretly, desperately craved for in our hearts? Do they die a natural death or have their life beaten out of them? Or, is it hard to let go of that dream because there’s this tiny ray of hope that keeps it alive?

Maybe we really need to mark, learn and inwardly digest the fact that being alone doesn’t necessarily translate to being lonely, but at the same time realize that personal spaces, though closely guarded, need to be invaded every once in a while, for our own good.

Maybe at the end of the day, it’s simply enough to know that love turns up in the most unexpected places, and looking for it will only make the wait more cumbersome, and the heart more restless. That the fairy tale may not follow the same storyboard as in the classics, and that the knight in shining armour may need to be traded for an ordinary looking guy in ratty tees and scruffy jeans. And that the happily ever after ceases to be important in the light of happiness now, in this moment.

And whether love is worth the pain…maybe every story is a fairy tale in its own right, and whether it ends well, or doesn’t, is simply a matter of perspective.

The real question however, is this. When we have found the person we are seeking, how do we know for sure, before it’s too late? Maybe we don’t. Maybe we never will. And therein lies the tragedy of it all.