The N,N-Dimethyltryptamine Trip

Last night I had the strangest dream. No, not strangest…I’ve had stranger ones before, and I do mean the kind where you see your friends supporting a few extra appendages, fancy tentacles…that sort of thing, excavating on the surface of Mars, all the while dressed in some kinda shiny fireproof outfit that does much to enhance their appearance.

No, this was different. This saw me laid to rest in a coffin, peaceful and stone cold. With people walking in an orderly line around it, to view me!! View me!!! And at one time I remember yelling at my parents when the topic of marriage had come up, that the only way anyone could ‘view’ me was over my dead body! (Hmm…maybe the things you claim have a way of returning to claim you!)

Well, whatever. The point is not that I’d died, but how! Because, that, my dream did not reveal! Ah, that makes for interesting discussion over a hot cup of tea. Yes, the beverage and the temperature it’s at are both important. Coz if anyone bugs you too much during the course of said discussion, you proceed to make yourself a hot cup of tea and pour it on the lap of whoever’s stressing you out!

Oooh wayyyyt! There you go…maybe I just discovered cause of death! Simple retaliation from injured party with blunt, heavy object! Now, did that turn my frontal lobe into putty and deliver me immediate vegetable status or did it give me a decisive shove towards the light and ‘up, up and away’ me? (For a moment there, I felt like superman! No, it wasn’t the vegetable part that did it, coz I’m not sure whether superman’s abilities here on our planet can be linked to vitamins obtained through ingesting carrots or okra…but the up, up and away bit.)

So, ah! I see the light. Rather, I saw that bright light which apparently guided my soul in the direction of St Peter at the pearly gates, and left my earthly form in that coffin, to be viewed (by me in my dream?!)

However, I’m awake now, and technically my mug ain’t grinning at you from the obituaries column in the papers, so I’m thinking... (Thinking…which means my frontal lobe, pea-sized though it may be…is still in working order! Mass relief…knowledge, that.)

Anyways, I’m thinking that this dream has left me with one displaced, yet disturbing thought. About the vegetable state of being…and that I wouldn’t ever want to be there. So, here’s my declaration, just in case…

I, Chellsie, being of sound body and mind, declare that in no condition should I be kept alive artificially; under no circumstance should my fate rest upon doctors who would simply like to see the length of their bills grow, and lawyers who couldn’t affix a light bulb to save their lives. Hence, when atleast seven days have passed and I have failed to request even one of the following:

Chocolate

Tea

Pizza

Cosmopolitan

Sex

Chocolate

Chocolate

Muffin

Cake

Chocolate

Sex

Ice-cream

Dad’s chili chicken

Chocolate

Breezer

Sex

Chocolate

You may safely presume that I have fallen off the road to recovery and won’t be finding my way back ever. After such has been determined, I hereby instruct my next of kin and attending physician to yank the plug, save the environment some energy and call it a day.

PS- For the morons who are clueless about what N,N-Dimethyltryptamine is, but are hesitant to ask or too lazy to google it, allow me put you out of your misery.

Quite simply, it’s the stuff dreams are made of! ;)

Now if you want the science…It’s an endogenous substance speculated to play a part in dreaming as well as near-death experiences. It’s naturally produced in the human brain during roughly the first month after birth, following which it is stored there and released only at the moment of death. How neat is that!

Wake up! Now here’s the really cool part! It can be synthesized externally and yes, you can smoke it to dream up some wild, psychedelic stuff! But people, please! Say NO to drugs. Help bring the prices down!

End of science/economics lesson. Feel free to get back to your mundane, boring lives.
Cheers!