Friday, April 1, 2016

A Storm is Coming

They talk in short text messages peppered through the day. She tells him about her harried evening, a book she's been reading, and an incident at the store, while he tells her about his ongoing project, his travel plans and the quaint restaurant around the corner that serves the most divine kebabs. Simple, nondescript conversations that randomly meander through the mundane everyday.

But conversations have their own momentum. They gather you as acquaintances through polite pleasantries, then bind you in friendship through shared stories and genuine feeling. Sometimes, just sometimes, talk becomes heroin, pressing you on under its addiction towards an undefined intimacy, an amorphous longing...

She senses it when she checks her phone for a message from him when she wakes up. He doesn't even realise that the last thing he does every night before falling asleep with a smile on his face, is send her a kiss goodnight. Talk, that isn't innocent of yearning anymore.

But she's married, as is he. And somewhere across the kaleidoscope of words and subtle yet urgent attraction, a storm is brewing, gathering dark rain clouds that will carry them away, leaving destruction in its wake. Or wash them clean of their undeniable passion.

But they can't know this. Not now, on this rare, extraordinary morning with clear blue skies that promise only happiness.

"Awake?" he texts.
"No, dreaming," she replies.

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Bittersweet

You see the signs. They're everywhere, appearing again and again, urging you towards your destiny. They're there...giving you the answers you need, but they're not the answers you want. So you choose to disregard them and follow the dictates of your heart, knowing all the while that you've walked a similar path before...and that it hasn't ended in roses and rainbows. Quite the contrary. You've been left with ashes and smoke, and the acrid taste of salt in your mouth.

But you surge forward anyway, venturing one reckless step after the other, until you're running from all that is familiar and safe and limiting, and hurling yourself into the black abyss of the unknown.

Maybe this is why we chase shadows, slipping in and out of fractured dreams. Because the future isn't set in stone. And no matter how broken the road or how defeated the spirit, we know we can change the pattern of our stars, aligning them the way we want.

And in doing so, giving shape to our own fate.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Kites

Higher into the inviting sky,
I am carried by the winds
Climbing, ascending, reaching,
In a glint of dazzling colour...
But someone holds the string
That anchors me to the ground,
And keeps me safe
Yet fettered.

The winds, they pull,
Then push and shove
And try to whisk me away
To places unknown, undiscovered...
But the cord holds firm
And while I'm secretly glad,
I wish for just one moment
That I could fly away.

Friday, February 14, 2014

Almost


you and I,
         always almost.
again
   and again.
          never nothing
          never something
  but never again.


(From the poem 'Almost' by DK)
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Monday, October 14, 2013

An Empty Land

I walk into the familiar coffee shop, where the table by the window had belonged to me and my friends, each weekend, long ago. I order the same, for old times' sake, and we sit in silence, my coffee and I.

I look around, unseeing, as the years melt and fall away. I'm that effervescent girl once more and my friends are here with me, squeezing in around the table, engaged in noisy banter. We talk, we dream, we build castles in the air...

And in that fleeting moment, nothing has changed.

I blink, and the magic is gone. The coffee shop looks a little worse for wear now, the music that emanates from the speakers is not the same and the view from the window looks jaded. My friends are long gone, scattered across the miles, separated by distances and priorities, and the castles we built in the air are now lives rooted in routine and responsibility...

Everything has changed.

I pay for the coffee, swing my bag over my shoulder and get up to leave.
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Wednesday, August 14, 2013

The Ties that Bind


My little boy rings the doorbell when he returns from school, and then rushes to hide. It's an elaborate game we've played for as long as I can remember. I open the door, call out his name and pretend to look for him in all of two possible places near the staircase, only to act surprised when he jumps out from his secret spot with a loud 'Boo!'

Somehow, the game never grows old. He walks in triumphantly, having scared his mum, and then settles down on my lap for his customary cuddle while proceeding to tell me all about his day at school. I love listening to his stories, love being welcomed into a part of his life that I really have no control over.

And even as I'm listening to his enthusiastic tales, a dark corner of my mind is already wistful thinking about the time he'll outgrow this need for childish games, for a hug, and for the banter that we indulge in. A time when I will no longer be his best friend, but an annoying parent who is too old to understand. I wonder about the friends he will have, the ones who will become his world, and hope they will be as devoted and encouraging as the friends I had...the ones who I still do. 

He pauses in his narration, frowns and asks why I'm not paying attention to him. Of course, I'm listening, I insist, so that he's assured and carries on with details of games class and his awesomeness at playing ball. But how can I assure him that he is the centre of my universe, now and always? That I possibly couldn't love anyone more than I love him, and that while he has become my greatest weakness, he is also my strongest reason for living.

I think he senses some of this, though, with trusting childish insight, but he'll forget when he's older, a teenager maybe. And later, when my arms can no longer circle protectively around his frame - because that wouldn't be cool - I'll shield him with prayer instead, and hope, that one day he'll remember these ordinary, golden times, and understand.
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The Night Watch - A song that I've loved since I was a kid. 

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

बारिश


रात की गहरी खामोशियों में

याद आते हैं कुछ बीते लम्हे,
मोहब्बत में डूबे कुछ नाज़ुक पल
आहिस्ता जागती ख़ुशी का एक एहसास...

मन देखे फिर
उस अधूरे मौसम का ख़्वाब
और जी लेती है ज़िन्दगी
उन यादों की बारिश में...

आज तुम ना हो तो क्या
अब तन्हाई भी तो नहीं रही...

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Curiouser and Curiouser


“Take some more tea," the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly.

"I've had nothing yet," Alice replied in an offended tone, "so I can't take more."
"You mean you can't take less," said the Hatter: "it's very easy to take more than nothing."

― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland